I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
