Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
