i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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