I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We need to rekindle our bromance
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
