I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
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