I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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