I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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