What a fucking waste of an outfit
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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