He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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