I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Last time i carry you out of a forest
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
