happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
