I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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