what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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