so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
