just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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