Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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