That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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