Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
