hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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