we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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