I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
