its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
