nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
