Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize