She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we're making bets on your personal life
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
