I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
