I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
