If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
