My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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