my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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