as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
