I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
