i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just google imaged poop.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
