then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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