i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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