Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I checked into jail on foursquare
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
