i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
