My friends, they love my intelligence
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
