Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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