i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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