idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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