He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
