I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
