And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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