You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
