i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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