Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
