he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
