Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
