Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
