I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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