Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
