He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
